The Connection Game: Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud

Welcome to the 2nd edition of the newsletter! This week’s theme: relationships—the thing we all say matters most, but somehow gets squeezed between meetings, deadlines, and “just one more email.”

Whether it’s your partner, your friends, or your work crew, strong relationships don’t just happen. They need time, attention, and occasionally... better boundaries 🙊

In this edition, you’ll find simple ways to strengthen your connections without adding to your already exhaustive to-do list.

Let’s dive in—before your inbox tries to interrupt us 👀

I picked up this communication game from a student while teaching English in Prague, many lifetimes ago. He and his wife used it to stay connected and supported during a particularly wild season of life—new baby, full-time jobs, and zero free time.

Here’s how it goes:

🌹 Rose — Share one good thing from today.

🌹 (Bonus Rose) — Another good thing, if you’re feeling generous.

🗡 Thorn — Share one annoying or frustrating thing.

🌱 Bud — Share something you’re excited about.

Each person takes a turn.

I’ve played this with partners, friends, co-workers and coaching clients. It’s quick, meaningful, and way better than phoning it in with “how was your day?”

Honestly, how great does it feel to be truly listened to?

In today’s Attention Deficit Culture, most “listening” is simply people waiting eagerly for their turn to talk (guilty as charged 😬). Real listening—no fixing, no judging, no side-eye-phone scrolling — is one of the most valuable gifts you can give and receive. And it’s a great gift if you are on a tight budget.

But in a world full of notifications and social media dopamine hits, it’s rarer than ever.

Most of us avoid tough conversations—not because we don’t know what to say, but because we fear how we’ll feel. (I did this for years.) Discomfort, guilt, fear of conflict or disappointment—even plain awkwardness—can keep us quiet and sometimes resentful.

This question helps you get honest about what you’re avoiding—and why. Once you name the emotion you’re dodging, the path forward gets clearer.

“But Chris, what if the other person always gets defensive and goes on the attack?”

Great question. When that happens, I try to stay curious and experimental with different approaches. One of the most effective tools I use with defensive and combative people is acknowledging and validating—something I’ll dive into more in a future edition.

✅ Book - Conscious Loving, by author Gay Hendricks, helped me understand how to spot and overcome the unconscious patterns that were emerging in my relationships.

✅ Podcast - Conan O’Brian and his employee hilariously attempt to understand their relationship with the help of renowned relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman Podcast episode.

✅ Conversation starters - Try this beautifully designed reflection card deck to spark meaningful conversations and connections.

✅ Inspiring others - Check out this quick video on how to become a better storyteller.

Vote by clicking your response.

That’s a wrap. One final thought, we don’t need to be perfect or have all the answers for those in our lives. Sometimes, simply being present and listening with intention is more than enough. Stay connected my friend.